Today Now! host Jim Haggerty consoles a severely depressed zoologist on the latest Critter Corner installment. (Posted 2/13/08, length 2:54)
The Onion
Little Boy Heroically Shoots, Mutilates Burglar
8 year old Lucas Armitage has become a national hero after bravely defending his home by shooting a burglar multiple times in the chest and neck. (Posted 9/24/09, length 2:26)
12-Year-Old Boy Scouts Offer To Give Breast Exams
Two prospective Eagle Scouts explain how they are preventing breast cancer by helping women examine their breasts. (Posted 10/13/08, length 2:57)
Today Now! : Boy Finds Own Real-Life E.T.
11 year old Thomas Demming visits Today NOW! with the magical friend he hid for weeks in his bedroom closet. (Posted 11/20/09, length 3:13)
How To Play Golf Against The Man Whose Wife You’re Banging On The Side
On Today Now!, golf expert Jordan Ritter has some Pro Tips for maintaining a steady swing while hitting the links with your mistress' husband. (Posted 10/7/10, length 2:45)
Pretend You Give A Shit About The Election
Our morning show's political correspondent offers tips on how you can seem informed about politics without picking up a single newspaper. (Posted 6/25/08, length 2:59)
How To Channel Your Road Rage Into Cold, Calculating Road Revenge
Defensive driving instructor Danny Preston says the best way to avoid conflict on the road is to execute long-term psychological torment on aggressive drivers. (Posted 2/4/15, length 2:53)
Parenting Expert Has Nerve To Tell You How To Raise Your Own Goddamn Kids
Did Jim's mom fail him? (Posted 2/6/15, length 2:51)
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